The letter came yesterday. So many questions answered and so many more to ask.
All my guesses were wrong, but given what I know now I don't see how I could've known how and where to look. Maybe a private investigator would have known, and that's something that will bother me.
Nothing, nothing for 31 years and now this, all at once. Three decades of joy and heartbreak in one family, all read vicariously, all at once. Every 10 minutes, another Google query and another thundering revelation. It's an overwhelming, mind-blowing trip, but wherever it takes me, this is one trip I've always wanted to go on.
If only I could have left sooner. My consolation is that it wasn't my choice.
More later.
Just curious ... was your birth father listed? Mine was not, and it was the only name I was interested in knowing. Now, without his name, I have no way to ever find him. It's completely and utterly gutting after 40 years of waiting.
ReplyDeleteHi Connie,
ReplyDeleteNo, there was no father listed. I've spoken with many, many adoptees who have gotten their info and with one exception, none had the father listed.
The exception was someone born in the 1950s where the birth parents were already married at the time of the birth. I suspect that it may have been commonplace at the time to remove the father's info from all birth certificates for illegitimate births.
However, some mothers have told me that they are sure they filled in the father's info and it must have been deleted, so there is some question of legality. I would not be surprised if there is some formal action being contemplated to protest the absence of paternal information.